For the most part, I have accepted Nick's situation. Of course, it is easier for me because I am not the one going through it. I am very thankful to have a sitter and a husband to lean on and that Nick is healthy. Sometimes the reality of the situation and the prospects for our future overwhelm me...the certainty of my mortality...so many things out of my control. What will happen to him when I am gone?...why isn't there more to be done for him?...if there is more, where do I look?...am I doing enough?Monday was one of those days, but...God is good. Almost at the moment I was about to have a meltdown, I received a comment on this blog from a total stranger (2 in fact) to open my eyes to the rest of the world. Everyone is going through some kind of crisis. The magnitute can only be measured by the perspective we have on that crisis. What seems to be a minor problem to me in someone else's life could be the worst possible problem for them in theirs. I am truly grateful to everyone who continues to pray for Nick. I love him more than anything, but I miss the son I knew before...the one who was always respectful and polite...the guy who was sensitive and kind and beautiful. I told Eric about a week ago that I am having trouble seeing that person when I look at him. It is very hard to look into his eyes and see that spark that I long to see. I always worried about my children when they were away from me and I prayed for them. Nothing can prepare you for this but worrying doesn't prevent bad things from happening, it only clouds the present. Pray for your children but trust that the Lord will strengthen you no matter what the future brings...enjoy them today.
Much love and strength to all,
Sondra
7 comments:
Thank you Sondra for your heartfelt post. I know it is tougher than almost anyone can realize. I'd like to suggest that you meet and share with other parents of children with brain injuries. That will give you some support. And don't worry about Nick after you are gone. As you said, worrying won't help a thing and you have enough on your plate now. Trust that Nick will be cared for when you are gone.
That seems to be one of the biggest worries for parents of disabled children--"what will happen to them when I am no longer around." There are many people whose lives are dedicated to supporting those with disabilities and they will gladly look out for your son. You need to look out for you as well.
Take care and bless you...
A friend, Jon
You always have a friend here Sondra. I wish I could do more for all of you. You are all definitely in my prayers daily and will continue to be. Keep the Faith and try to take one day at a time. I know that these are just words but God will take care of you all! All my Love to you!
Lydia
Not many could endure what you have! I know that you have secured a place in Heaven!
I continue to keep you and Nick in my prayers!
r
God I was crying when accidentally read your blog...Though i believed everything was plan and written...God Bless... you inspired me with your kindness to your son...I am a Mother of 3.
I wish I had your strength and faith...my prayers are with you and your family....
After 4 years and Nick hasn't completely recovered - I really commend you for being tough and patient. Life is hard sometimes, and we always wonder why it happens to us...I'm not going through the best of times in my life now, altho the circumstances are different, I know I had an easier life. Hugs to you and Nick.
I'm gonna link your blog to mine, will keep on reading and hope your strength will be something that I have too.
Love,
Diana
Hang in there. God will give you no more than you can handle and trust that he is looking out for you.
God Bless.
Dave
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